College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I wear drunk well.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
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