this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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