Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
