She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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