dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
