apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just puked most of my soul out..
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
