Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
