Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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