wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
