I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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