ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
