That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
