I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
