party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
