how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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