When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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