How's work?
Spinning.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
