look no pants
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
