I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
