um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
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