Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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