I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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