If i come over, it means nothing
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
