why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I didn't notice because vodka
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
