i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
