I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
