did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
