I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
