carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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