Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
smell my finger.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
