he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize