my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
