I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
