I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
