I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
