i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
