and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
