Christians are straight up FREAKS
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Buhtt sex?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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