Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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