I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
