YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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