I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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