He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
