if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize