the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
