the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
