Someone shit on the floor
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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