I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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