Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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