Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
