I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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