i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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