The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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