they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
