well I can't set my house on fire every night
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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