We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
