Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize