Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
