I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
